The experience is totally rote so even though I'm reviewing multiple girls, a one-size-fits-all review suffices. You go in. You pay. You do the business. No girl I've met has been able to speak more than two words of English so you just disrobe and lie on the bed. You then get 20 minutes of massage. This has varied between the quite good and the pretty average. To be fair, I haven't had an awful massage; most of the girls know what they're doing and the truth is, the massage is about the only really useful thing that happens. If you have any back issues or post-gym tenseness you might find the massage worthwhile (though you wouldn't pay more for it and it's not why you're there.)
After that, it's protected oral and sex with, as noted, a not very attractive woman who 75% of the time doesn't kiss and the 25% of the time she does, tastes like a Chinese takeaway. During the sex, she'll use her two words of English repeatedly..."ho, you got big cock." Which, as it happens, I don't. I'm not sure if this saying is designed to flatter me (it doesn't) or give her some English practice as a distraction while she's working but either way, it gets pretty annoying on the third time of saying.
Summary: If you're within a mile of the place, absolutely desperate to unload, have £70 spare that you can find no other use for and don't mind wasting, and you're prepared to set your standards low then there are worse things in the world than banging a very plain, middle-aged, the lady who you don't find very attractive. But not many. I would not drive more than a mile out of my way for this place and I would not go if there was a half-decent alternative option within an hour. Sadly, with the exception of extreme circumstances, give it a miss.
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